how disappointed!!

oohh..today is my "chuancheng" last day..what a relief..but m so disappointed with myself when bringing the slot... i duno what m i wanna to bring out during the slot..m blank..i think the juniors oso quite blur with it..luckily is their understanding is high..din sesat after hearing what i say..i really no face sitting there n bla bla bla liao...at 1st,i tot i can handle it ,but m so nervous..what i think b4 that is different wif what the actual situation is..i went blank..if not of others help..i think i wll cry..really no joke.. this was quite an important part for juniors but what a suck job i did..m so terrible..thanx for their help oso..i know m not putting whole effort in it of brushing up my skills..but my communicating skills within groups discussion was zero...haih..m so disappointing them..even superseniors say can't get the important point from it..at that time i really felt so sorry to them.. although they say nevermind,nice try..but my heart will alwaz think like that..i felt guilty actually...why should they let me lead a slot that m mot familiar..i duno..they want to train me??they trusted me??i duno.... i juz know that m terrible in it... over is over..but..this makes a great impact for me actually...m lousy in handling discussion..management...m terrible.. m terrified.. m trying.. m tiring.. m helpless.. m thankgoodness.. m hopeless..in conclusion..i was very disappointed with what i have done.. 1st time..n oso last time.. i want to improve of coz.. hope as time goes by.. i really can brush up myself..my skills..n my studies..fainted..tired..